Tuesday, 4 March 2008

Why Your Ex Will Never See Reason

Logic and emotion. Two completely different things! As different, in fact, as men and women. Ever heard of the book "Men are From Mars and Women Are From Venus"? It's a famous book about the differences between the sexes, and the title of the book holds alot of water. Sometimes it seems likes men really are from a different planet from women.

You see, men and women have a different way of making decisions. Men use logic. Let's use a really simple example: a man and women are arguing. The man desperately tries to convey his point - it's the logical one and he is perplexed as to why his women can't understand. How could he solve this argument? Not by arguing, that's for sure! He can "win" it by appealing to her emotions: apologising, by making her happy. Does that ring true to you? Ever felt like women just don't see reason?

Let's say this holds true. Let's say you've just split up with your partner, and you want her back. What are the most commmon approaches? You could try calling her, and trying to CONVINCE her to come back using logic - you've changed, she's made a mistake, you are the right person for her. It would be nice if this worked, wouldn't it? Unfortunately, women are run by emotion - remember? These tactics appeal to her sense of logic. She doesn't listen to that sense though, remember? Back to the drawing board. You could send her romantic poems and flowers. Maybe send her a joke? This approach will make her feel loved and make her laugh: it'll appeal to her emotions. So, this is a good tactic, right? Wrong. It makes you look needy, and unfortunately neediness is a huge turnoff for women. It's not their fault, it's just the way they're wired.

The best idea immediately following a break-up is to give her some space, and get on with your own life. Your plan to win her back will need to appeal to her emotions, not her sense of logic. A "no contact" policy for a short period of time after a split is a good idea as there is no risk of you seeming "needy". When you do get in contact with her again, you'll need to appeal to her emotions. You'll need to remember what it was that she saw in you in the first place, and recapture it - all this, without appearing needy. If she latches onto the notion that you are trying to win her back, the game is up! It's a tricky business, but if you remember the fundamental idea: appeal to her emotions, you stand a better chance than most guys will.

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Article posted 19th of November 2009. May not be copied without permission.

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